05: Making Time for Each Other
When you’re a couple in business together and if you have kids, you can easily get caught up in the busyness and forget to connect and make time for each other. It’s so important to make time outside of business to connect because at the end of the day, your relationship is the priority. Any relationship takes work, but especially for couples in business.
Over the many years working together, we reached a point where it felt like we knew how to do business partnering professionally and proficiently, we could also co-parent fine, however we’d forgotten how to lovingly connect as husband and wife.
We share in this podcast the difference phases and stages and in the earlier days when the kids were toddlers and babies, we had grandparents around to babysit, so we had a great routine of going out regularly. We’d feed the kids and put them to bed early and we’d have the evening to ourselves and Friday night candlelit dinner was a regular thing.
However, family support fizzled out for reasons and the business was increasingly becoming more demanding and we put our quality time together to the bottom of the list, for a long time, years in fact.
We were disconnected, resentful, exhausted, consumed with working in the business and raising kids and like ships in the night, we passed each other with little eye contact, body contact, hugs and affection. Thankfully we became aware that our marriage needed some extra TLC and conscious action to move forward more positively.
Date nights is one simple action you can make. Scott was the first to initiate date night, almost enforce it. Sarah was bit nonchalant about it, as ‘What difference will it make?’, she thought. However, we got the babysitter in and started regular fortnightly date night and it has made the world of difference.
There is a reason why experts say that regular date nights need to happen. We have found this to be one of the best things for our relationship. Our date nights are nothing fancy or expensive, unless we’re celebrating something, like a record week in sales, or reaching a goal. Normally we head off for a drink or tea and dessert, or just a long beach walk, holding hands. It feels so good to connect, touch and laugh together outside the demands of business and wrangling kids.
So, what are the red flags you should be looking out for?
Feelings of disconnect, resentment, talking about business all the time, numbing out on screens, TV, overworking, your focus is business and / or kids. You plonk into bed exhausted; you haven’t laughed in a while, you miss that lovingly touch and connection you once had.
What if you’re in that place right now?
You can get through this and make the time and the effort. It’s hard at first, but it does get easier. Paying for a babysitter could be the best investment for your relationship. When you make your relationship a priority only good flows from that, and your business will flourish and so will your kids.
Go on, book it in now!
Ryan Butler (Music)
Wes Butler (Logo & Branding)